Sunday, April 4, 2010

Two Places at Once

I am the queen of multitasking. I can discipline a child while cooking, soothe a newborn while yelling at a toddler, talk to a friend while writing a paper, fold clothes while playing with a child and pump milk while making coffee!

But, try as I may, I still have not figured out how to physically be two places at once! This is my dilemma. I, ( most mothers close your eyes) am ready to go back to work. However, I don't feel ready to leave Savannah quite yet. I'm ready to bring home the bacon again and feel accomplishment and interact with other adults on a regular basis. But I worry about my baby girl. It's not that I feel like her childcare center is inadequate. Her teacher, Ms. Tina, is wonderful as well as the other staff there. I think it's just a "mom" thing. I feel like no one can comfort her the way that I do. I know her so well by now, I know all the "tricks" to making her happy. She doesn't even really love taking a bottle. I know she'll get used to it and she will continue to thrive. Reese did and he's the smartest, happiest, most mom-loving 2 year old I know.

It's two full time jobs. Make it three if you count your marriage. I realized we have been married for 5 years come August. Where does all that time go. And it's not like your relationship takes care of itself after a certain number of years. If anything, it gets harder to maintain and heck, improve with the added demands of a growing family and work responsibilities. But then you get those golden moments, when the kids are being cute as can be, you're all coloring easter eggs at the table and you realize you couldn't have it much better. I have said that having 2 kids is more about "divide and conquer" but I think I'm going to take that back. While we may delegate to eachother, it's more about being a team that feels like they won at the end of the day. Most days.

How I've managed to keep my sanity I'm not sure. Thank you friends for listening to me talk rapidly out of need for socialization. Thank you running and other exercise for helping to clear my mind and getting me back into (some) of my clothes. Thank you Reed for telling me I'm beautiful even though I'm not a size 2 again yet. Thank you family for listening to me and helping me and coming to help when you can. Thank you occasional glass of wine. Thank you Savannah for being a good sleeper and making me sit down and relax for awhile each day to feed you. Thank you Reese for your big hugs and for being so darn cute I can't help but forgive your temper tantrums and resistance to use the potty. Thank you God for giving me strength and blessing me with all I could ever imagine!